Siblings hold a unique place in our lives. They’ve known us through every awkward childhood phase, endured countless family dinners by our side, and witnessed our highs and lows. Yet, despite being some of the most enduring relationships we’ll have, sibling bonds can still grow strained—often without us realizing why.
Want a stronger, healthier relationship with your sibling? Here’s the hard truth: it might be time to reflect on your actions. Sometimes, unintentionally, we contribute to the distance we feel from our siblings. The good news? With a few adjustments, those bonds can flourish again.
To help you reconnect and understand each other better, we’ve identified 7 habits to kick to the curb.
1. Stop Taking Them for Granted
They’re your sibling—an unchangeable part of your life forever. But that familiarity can sometimes cause us to prioritize other relationships over theirs. After all, there’s a sense they’ll always be there. This assumption, though, often leads to unintentional neglect.
What to do instead:
Make an effort to check in regularly. A simple text asking how their day is going or scheduling coffee once a month can make a difference. Show them that you value their presence in your life.
2. Stop Comparing Them to Yourself (or Others)
Comparisons hurt, even when unintentional. Whether it’s saying, “Why haven’t you been promoted yet like me?” or silently thinking their parenting style doesn’t measure up, assuming your sibling should meet your standards can create resentment.
Remember, siblings are different people with different paths. Just because they’ve taken a route you don’t understand doesn’t mean it’s any less valid.
What to do instead:
Celebrate their wins and understand their struggles without putting them side-by-side with anyone else’s. Be their cheerleader instead of their unintended critic.
3. Stop Bringing Up Old Arguments
Family disputes have a funny way of lingering. Maybe there’s that one birthday party where they said something hurtful—or that time they “borrowed” your car without asking. Holding onto grudges, however, can quietly erode sibling relationships over time.
What to do instead:
If there are unresolved tensions, address them calmly and directly (but only once you’re both ready to listen). Otherwise, practice extending forgiveness and letting old wounds heal. Life is too short for grudges.
4. Stop Assuming You Know Everything About Them
We often think we know our siblings better than anyone. But people change—and that includes your sibling. Their hobbies, career ambitions, or views on life might look very different from what they were five years ago. If you’re holding onto outdated perceptions, it can prevent a deeper connection.
What to do instead:
Be curious! Ask them what they’ve been excited about recently or what their goals for the year are. Showing genuine interest in their personal growth strengthens your bond.
5. Stop Dismissing Their Feelings
“Don’t be so sensitive.”
“Why are you blowing this out of proportion?”
Sound familiar? Dismissing your sibling’s emotions (even unintentionally) can invalidate their experiences and feelings, leaving them less inclined to open up in the future.
What to do instead:
Practice empathy. Even if you don’t agree or understand their perspective, show that you’re willing to listen. A simple “I hear you” or “That sounds tough” can go a long way.
6. Stop Competing with Them
Sibling rivalry doesn’t just end when childhood does. It morphs into new forms—comparing job promotions, financial success, or even social milestones like marriage or homeownership. However constant competition can damage the foundation of any strong sibling relationship.
What to do instead:
Replace competition with collaboration. Instead of measuring yourself against them, ask how you can support them. Cheer for them when they succeed, and lean into mutual encouragement.
7. Stop Forgetting the Small Stuff
It’s easy to assume the dynamics between siblings don’t require much maintenance. After all, they’ve been “there” forever, right? But those small, seemingly insignificant moments—remembering their birthday, checking on their kids, or recalling their favorite meal—matter.
What to do instead:
Take note of the details. Surprise them with their favorite snack or send a meaningful message on their big day. These small gestures remind them they’re appreciated.
Cultivating a Stronger Bond
Strengthening your relationship with your sibling doesn’t require grand gestures or dramatic life changes. Often, it’s the smallest shifts—like showing empathy, being curious, or simply checking in—that make the biggest impact.
By consciously letting go of these 7 habits and replacing them with healthier behaviors, you’ll open the door to a stronger relationship, a deeper connection with your sibling. It’s worth the effort to cherish and nurture one of life’s most enduring ties.
Now it’s your turn! Start small. Schedule a time to grab coffee or call your sibling, and ask how their week has been. Small actions can trigger monumental changes.